Never Lose Hope

I was born with a black thumb. Although it wasn’t visible to everyone in the delivery room, it was there lying dormant waiting for the day I would attempt to keep a plant alive. Perhaps you would think that at the age of 49, I would accept this and stop torturing poor unsuspecting plants – you’d be wrong!

Pray for them

Over the weekend at the Poplar Grove Herb and Garden Fair, I saw plants; Beautiful flowering plants, amazing herb plants, and new and promising vegetable plants. I wanted them ALL! I want a lovely English style garden that has the completely unkempt look but evidently requires more than tossing about a few seeds.

I came home from the weekend with, you guessed it, plants! I have three little basal, cilantro, and chives plants and a nice mint plant. I have high hopes that these will grow into an amazing herb garden. The reality is that they will thrive for the first few weeks (because I’m excited and will be attentive). Then as I see then doing well, I lose some focus and they will begin to droop and cry for water and attention. I’ll try to revive them and eventually I’ll pronounce them destined for death and that prophecy will become reality.

How often do you follow this same pattern with your goals?

You begin with the idea that you are destined to failure. You decide to have hope and try anyway; only to live your self fulfilling prophecy. FAILURE

I think it is time we both owned-up to the real reality – we CAN CHANGE!

Martin Luther King said, ‘We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope’.

I’m going to go plant my herb garden – what are you doing?

 

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Things are Getting Zippy

It is Saturday and the day I am to check in with you on my quest for average. I am happy and proud to report that I have been consistent with my walking! I walked Monday, Wednesday and Friday after lunch. I walked 1.1 miles each day and my time ranged from approximately 30 minutes on Monday to 24 minutes on Friday (I was puffing pretty hard after Friday’s walk).

I am sad to report that I did not add in any weight training this week. I experience some low back pain after walking, which I think is related to my surgery and my core muscles building back. I think I need to work those core muscles to help them strengthen.

Several years ago I bought an Ab Roller. It really did give me great abs and a flat stomach. I think it may be time to get that thing out of the closet and see if I can build up some muscles!

In December when I was still holding my insides in as I walked, I decided when I was better that I wanted to ride a Zipline as the true and final “I’m better” moment. I began calling it my Zip Quest. Little did I know at the time but there is actually a place called ZipQuest in Fayetteville (less than 2 hours from me). As soon as I began my research, they have been my goal! Well, this past week, I set my ZipQuest date – April 1st.

Come Zip with me!

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VD it’s Not Just for Lovers

Today is Valentine’s Day. It is a day when we all express love to the one we love. Perhaps you also express that love to those around you. Last

Communicating Love

night I watched as Jenn fashioned little Valentines Day surprises for her choir. She was having so much fun. It lead to a discussion of our expressions of love to those around us.

 

I was a stoic kid. Beyond grade school when everyone gave every one a valentine, I’m relatively sure it was a holiday that held no allure for me. Jenn says she was that kid pouring over the valentines she would give and trying to match them to the recipient.

I just purchased a book by Gary Chapman called G  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. In this book Gary discusses not only the language of love but how important it is to learn your partners language and learn to show them love in the way that is most fulfilling for them. You can learn more about he five languages of love here.

Last year I read  The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in all Your Relationships also Gary Chapman.  In this book Gary discusses how language and actions can mean different things. His idea is that we must learn to speak the apology language of our partners.

In this day and age of having everything be about the individual and ourselves, today is a good day to begin a journey of thinking of others, Whether it is the one special one or your friends, family or an acquaintance. Learning the language of love is really just learning effective communication.

Happy Valentines day, ya’ll!!  I love you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Loosen the Grip of Stress

Where are my words?

Virtually every day when I sit before a blank screen and start to write, I think ‘Who am I to assume that I can write anything positive or inspirational to help someone else’. Most days I can remind myself that I am not writing to anyone but me. My positive blogging project didn’t start because I was looking to change someone else. It stared as a way to remind myself to be positive and as encouragement to me! Nevertheless, if someone reading can take a positive and helpful message from what I write, the more the better!

This weekend I seem to have spent a lot of time talking about stress. Maybe it was something on my mind or maybe it is something that needs to be on my mind.

Caught up in Stressful Living

I spoke with a dear friend who shared that his doctor has told him he MUST reduce the stress in his life. His life depends on it. Yet, he is having trouble making the choices that extract him from the stresses.

There are lots of reasons we get stressed. Stressors are all around us!   At work, At home, On the road and especially (for me anyway) in public places when dealing with other people. Stress is EVERYWHERE! We may feel stress because of poor communication, too much work and everyday hassles like standing in line or driving down the highway.

Here are some EMERGENCY stress stoppers to help us deal with stress on the spot.

Try ‘em! And remember, you may need different stress stoppers for different situations and sometimes it helps to combine them.

  • Count to 10 before you speak.
  • Take three to five deep breaths.
  • Walk away from the stressful situation, and say you’ll handle it later.
  • Go for a walk.
  • Eat right and exercise
  • Set realistic goals
  • Handle important tasks first and eliminate unessential tasks
  • Take a break and meditate to slow down “mind-racing”
  • Reduce the urge to be “perfect”
  • Be flexible
  • Avoid excessive competition
  • Reduce criticism of yourself and others
  • Don’t stress when expectations are not met
  • Manage your anger
  • Push away negativity of any kind
  • Give yourself “me” time
  • Choose to keep quiet when you feel a  negative reaction
  • Be cheerful, it deflates others stress and anxiety
  • Silence your phone at night
  • Utilize relaxation techniques; Yoga, Meditation, Breathing, etc.
  • Laugh and smile more often
  • Smell a rose, hug a loved one or smile at your neighbor.
  • And most importantly,

Remember you can only change yourself

 

 

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Beginnings

As humans we spend a lot of time thinking about the end. We ask questions like, ‘what’s your end game?’  ‘Where do you want to end up?’ or ‘where do you see this going?’ We do things like create a bucket list in an attempt to be sure we get in the things we wish to do before we reach the end.

Rarely do we concentrate our efforts on the beginning. We frequently live our lives thinking about the end game; Trudging through our days to get to the evening or making our way through the week to celebrate the weekend. We live our lives as if it is just something to get through.

Today, you get to breathe unassisted for 24 hours. What else will you do with that time?

 

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Well, isn’t that NICE!

We all want people to like us and we are willing to give of ourselves to accomplish this feat. You play nice at the office. You play nice with your spouse. You stuff your wants, needs, desires down while being nice to those around you.

Nice is stifling!

There’s a huge price to pay for parading through your life wearing the cloak of Nice.

1. DRAINED ENERGY RESERVES. It takes a lot of effort to put on the show.  It’s tiring to remember all those little white ‘save your feeling’ lies. Coming up with fibs all the time to make sure you say things to try to keep everyone else happy is hard work. Eventually you will suffer from tiredness that can escalate to exhaustion, maybe eventually depression.  Not to mention the fact that your soul is yearning for truth.

2.  MANIPULATION. It doesn’t sound nice but being nice is manipulative.  It’s being agreeable and behaving a certain way because you surmise that there’s something in it for you. Life is full of compromise!  But nice has something unscrupulous and exploitative about it.

3.  NICE IS FAKE. It is not possible to have meaningful, truth-filled relationships when Nice is in charge.  Nice barely scratches the surface of who you are and what you want.

I read a blog where the author suggested  doing an energy/nice inventory. Give yourself 100 points at the beginning of the day.  Notice what builds you up and what wears you down.  Playing nice is sure to dock a minimum 10 points from your tally each time you do it.  If your penchant for pleasing is chronic, you’ll be in negative territory by lunch time.

I am in no way suggesting that you pit away all your manners. Nor am I suggesting that you run rough-shod over those you love or even your enemies. I am suggesting that doing things to ‘just be nice’ is detrimental to your happiness. Not to mention, detrimental to reaching your goals.

 

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