My dog Wrigley is a very fearful guy. His fear manifests it’s self in many ways – the most amusing is his fear of jumping on the bed. Wrigley is tall and can easily rest his head on the bed and with most beds he could just step up and be there. However he lives in fear of hopping on the bed. We have cajoled, and offered cookies. We have begged and yelled. Yet, the result remains the same – the fear negates any efforts.
I know what you’re thinking – what’s amusing about a 80lbs dog
trembling in fear? The amusing part is that once a human touches him somewhere about the neck and shoulders he leaps victoriously on the bed and proceeds to do a victory dance that would shame Rocky! His pride in accomplishment is down right funny – since most likely he has cried whimpered for a long time before someone gave in and helped.
Last night during this process, I realized I am just like Wrigley. I look at things and I see all that could go wrong. And rather than take a leap of faith and try, I whine and cry (both literally and figuratively) and take no action.
How do you over come fear?
I discovered a blog post – 33 Powerful Ways of Overcoming Fear … Right Now – that I thought had some good ideas (although some, like hypnosis, therapy or hiring a life coach seem extreme in most cases {read my case}). However, I have come up with my own 6-steps to overcoming fear; because I do think overcoming fear comes down to a few simple steps (six to be exact):
1) Accept the Fear – acceptance in no way means give in to the fear! Acceptance means accept the presence of fear. Observe the feeling in your mind and body without labeling or judging it. Surrender to the fear instead of fighting it. As you do this the negative energy will pass through you and your body will release it. And you can return to focusing on the task at hand. Focusing on the now not only reduces fear but also increases the chances of you succeeding as your mind is focused.
2) Find the reason – Write down all the wonderful things you will gain in your life by overcoming this fear. Do it now – Take out a piece of paper and a pen. And write down all the wonderful ways you can come up with how overcoming fear will improve your life.
3) Take Small Steps – sometimes when I watch Wrigley and his hopping on the bed phobia, I think ‘don’t try to jump so far – take smaller steps’. This is so true of the fear we have in our own lives. Our fear can become so overwhelming that we are paralyzed and unable to act. Break it down in to small manageable portions and begin moving forward.
4) Live right now – The basis for our fears come from past experiences and imagined future experiences. Stop thinking about the failures of the past or how you should have made different choices. Don’t borrow trouble for the future by imagining what might or could go wrong. Do what you can right now. Make your best possible choice. LIVE NOW!
5) Accept Help – I probably have the hardest time with this one. I like to believe that I can handle it all on my own. It is hard to accept help. But sometimes we must accept that we can’t do everything and need help.
6) Celebrate Success – I wish I could celebrate with the complete and unadulterated joy that Wrigley has when his feet land on the bed. He does not contemplate the fear, or lament the need for help – he simply dances, and celebrates his victory.
Be fearless today, My Friend!
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