Gayle Tabor

A few weeks ago I picked up a book and skimmed a few pages. When I picked the book up I knew it really held no interest for me, I don’t really recall the name or who wrote it. The title was something like “What’s it like to be married to me?” I am very certain I do not wish to know the answer to this question – so, why read the book!

However, in my short perusal, I encountered an idea that so perfectly dove-tailed with something I have been thinking and meditating on for most of this year – allow me to share.

The story in the book invites you to imagine that 30 years in the future you are attending a funeral. When you arrive you know all the people in attendance and as you approach the casket you realize it’s you that has died. Your spouse is prepared to give a eulogy about you. What would they say? The idea is that your spouse – the person who knows you best – will have far different insights into who you really are than anyone else in the room. If they honestly stood in to look back at your ‘body of work’ a true look at your at your lifetime; what would they say?

The author then talks about how we are all DAILY beings. It is the things we do everyday that make up the whole of who we are.

DAILY BEINGS! 

In the grand scheme of things I would want to be painted with broad brush strokes. I sometimes think the broad strokes cover the small daily missteps or miscues. However, this book drives home the point that our life is just the opposite. The things we do daily make up the broad stroke picture of our lives! Everyday is just one more pixel in the picture of your life.

Just as Pixels create a picture – Days create a lifetime

I have written several places where I am sure to see it daily the following quote:

The Difference Between Who You Are And Who You Want To Be IS What You Do TODAY. 

Do you complain everyday?

Do you laugh everyday?

Is nothing ever good enough?

Do you hug your spouse or kids everyday?

Do you worry everyday?

Do you learn or try something new everyday?

Do you yell at your kids or spouse everyday?

Do you take time to meditate everyday?

Are your days too busy to take time to appreciate little things?

Do you exercise everyday?

Are your food choices healthy everyday?

At the beginning of 2013 we began a practice in our house of putting a smiley face on the kitchen calendar every day we successfully ate every meal at home. Our budget said we ate out WAY too much. However, it didn’t feel like we ate out a lot. We quickly learned that although it didn’t seem like much – it was easy to make excuses, develop reasons, or conveniently forget previous dining – we were indeed eating out far more than we should! I have said this before –

If you can’t measure it you can’t change it

Maybe you are like me, just because you know how to do something; just because you can identify the problem, you believe that in some magic way the problem is already solved.

For example, I know I should avoid sweet treats (even though I love them). I also know that I can occasionally indulge in a sweet cheat without dire consequences. However, when I conveniently forget prior indulgences, when I make excuses, when I allow an occasional cheat to be come a daily habit, the consequences (weight gain, higher blood sugar levels, etc) become clear.

Because we are experts at rationalizing to ourselves the one little indulgence – the one little indulgence that becomes a daily habit – it is helpful to track and measure.

It may seem silly. 

But you can track and measure anything. Track the days when you avoid complaining. Track when you laugh. Track when you hug your spouse or kids. Track when you meditate. Track when you avoid worry. Track and document your appreciation of little things.

For me, the smiley face on the calendar is reason enough for me to pass by convenient lunch or dinner and come home and cook. The orange squares (signifying completed) on my marathon training calendar are motivation to do it again tomorrow. The joy of seeing the physical manifestations of success helps me to stay on the path of being who I really want to be and meet my goals to get there.

Decide who you wish to be today – repeat it everyday (even if it means giving yourself a smiley face for the day) – and you will be exactly who you wish to be.

I love animals. It is a fact known by virtually everyone I meet (perhaps it’s the over abundance of dog hair on my clothing that gives me away – for the record I try to limit it but it just keeps coming back). So it probably comes as no surprise I loved the character of Doctor Dolittle in a series of children’s books by Hugh Lofting and later in movies. In the book, as in the original movie, there are many unusual animals. One in particular always caught my attention – The pushmi-pullyu (pronounced “push-me—pull-you”) a “gazelle-unicorn cross” which has two heads (one of each) at opposite ends of its body.

I can imagine nothing that quite demonstrates the true difficulties of cooperation more than the concept of two heads facing in opposing directions.  Yet, I also believe nothing shows the true spirit of cooperation more than two heads facing opposite directions and yet able to accomplish a goal.

My regular readers know I am training to walk a marathon – The Disney Marathon – next January. Yesterday on my training walk I spent a considerable amount of time thinking about the pushmi-pullyu.

You see, I have a training partner. Jenn is a slow and steady to the finish runner (now walker). She sets a slow and steady pace and stays at that pace never wavering, just consistently pounding out the miles – Slow and Steady. She can go for miles and miles at her slow and steady pace.

Back when I stood on the sideline and watched as Jenn competed in triathlons and in triathlon training this frustrated me. I would from my armchair talk about fartleks and training to be faster. But really, Jenn was comfortable at her pace and she didn’t waiver far in either direction. It may not be the fastest pace but it gets it done.

Not to mix my fairy tales but think of the tortoise in Aesop’s Fable The Tortoise and the Hare . Jenn is a tortoise!

I am the polar opposite of my training partner. I jump out of the gate like a house a fire. I set a high tempo and soon I am gasping for air and feeling my pounding heart am all to rapidly begging to slow down. I go short distances at a fast pace and then am often too tired to finish. Sadly time and again I am unwilling to even start because I know I will be exhausted in such a short time and will just in the end be frustrated with my performance. I therefore opt to never begin rather than to be frustrated by my accomplishment. I am a hare!

Yesterday was just such a start to our walk. I set a pace too high and, after a half mile or less, needed to stop, regroup and set back out at a more reasonable pace – a pace I could maintain and finish.

However, as the miles wore on I realized an interesting fact. Jenn was walking a step behind just off my left shoulder. We were talking off and on about a variety of topics. We were pushing hard. Finally, half way through mile three I said “I’m feeling GREAT!” to which the reply came, “I could tell, you’re going fast”. It was then I began to think of the pushmi-pullyu.

As I was pulling Jenn to walk faster, she was pushing me to walk further and to pace myself to be able to walk the full planned distance. We really were the polar opposites working collaboratively to make each better. The true pushmi-pullyu working collaborative to make each of us better. To push to finish and yet pulling to a faster time.

This morning I thought of it in relation to life. I think it’s easy when we sit in meetings or when we work with others to become frustrated with the differences. When in reality if we could accept the push or give the pull we really would make a stronger and healthier team.

Who are you pushing today? 

And are you allowing yourself to be pulled today?

In life we all need to be pushed from time to time. And we all need to be pulled from time to time. The inverse is also true we all need to push a little and we all need to pull a little. I am learning the key to marathon training (and in life) is to find partners who can be your pushmi-pullyu.

A few weeks ago I received an email notification from Klout. The notification offered to give me a klout perk. Now, I have gotten these notifications before and mostly ignored them. However, this perk was for something that very much interested me – A Sony Walkman W!

Now, don’t get me wrong I love my iPod. I love the versatility of that little 8gb music machine – it works in my car, it works to feed the music in my house and it’s portable. But the thing it doesn’t do well is workout with me. I am forever untangling wires. I position them and reposition them. Invariably during some position of my workout I drop the ipod and scramble to grab it before it hits the floor (often while maintaining on the treadmill).

Which is why I was so excited to be offered a Sony Walkman W!

You see, this isn’t the Walkman of the 70s (which I still have by the way)! This new Walkman has NO WIRES!

That’s right everything is self-contained in the earpiece. 

I know what you are thinking, and I shared your concern. How heavy is it?  I also worried that the 2 gig of memory would leave me feeling shortchanged.

I’ve been checking my box religiously -  Awaiting the arrival of my new toy – Anxious to see if the hype is reality.

My Sony Walkman W arrived on Wednesday!

I am happy to repost that it’s no heavier than just headphones (or at least not that I can discern). It was easy to drag and drop the tunes I wanted onto the device. I even created playlists. It took no more than a few tries to get the hang of the controls.

This product has been everything it promised. The perfect workout partner!

And the timing couldn’t be better, as I am but a mear FOUR DAYS away from registering for my first ever marathon – the Disney Marathon!  I am incredibly excited and am sure the 9 months will fly by and I am looking forward to training hard with my Sony Walkman W pumping some great tunes and inspiration into my ears.

Note: I received this product free from Klout. I have not been paid for my opinion. I do have the opportunity to upgrade this product to the waterproof version if I create enough social media buzz around it. However, if I didn’t like the product I would not be interested in owning another.

The Difference between Who You Are and Who You Want to be is What You Do. 

I stumbled upon this quote recently. I’m not exactly sure where or from whom. It resonated with me. It resonated so much that I wrote it on my blotter – I wanted to keep it close – to be reminded.

As I am training for what I am calling my EPIC QUEST (walking a marathon – that’s 26.2 miles folks), I have a certain amount of solitary walking time. Time to think. Time to ponder. On one of those recent walks I decided I needed to add a word to the quote. I needed to add the word EVERYDAY.

The one thing I am learning from my epic quest is that tomorrow seems like a fine time to train. Tomorrow has all the hope, all the allure, and all the good feelings of training. Today is full of things to do, excuses and rationalizations. However, who I want to be – a marathoner – is created not on race day (although I will have to show up and finish on race day) but becoming a marathoner is made up of everyday for the next 9 months and 9 days.

Success won’t be what I do on race day but what I do every day leading to race day. 

The same is true with every aspect of life. Want to read more and watch less TV – it’s how much TV you watch today that matters. Want to eat a healthier diet – it’s what you eat today that matters.

Who do you want to be? 

You must get up every morning and realize who you want to be. You must live everyday in every way as the person you want to be. A week – A month – a year of living every day as the person you want to be is the only way to become that person.