“You’ll never be good at math.”
“You would find a guy if you just wore makeup.”
“You’ll never make friends if you don’t lose weight.”
“Only stupid/lazy/boring/(fill in the blank) people do that.”
Sentences like these might sound familiar to you. They are often said in one form or another by often well meaning parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors. All they end up doing is becoming the voices you hear that keep you from following your dreams and reaching your goals.
Why do we listen to this external validation? Mostly because it usually comes from someone we love and respect, so they can’t be wrong. (This is not true, in this instance at least, they are wrong.) Also the need for external validation is strong, we care what people think about us.
There are things you can do to break free for the negative validation that is holding you back.
1.) Learn to recognize when your mind is replaying negative comments and stop them. Think of something positive that you have accomplished. You can train your mind to stop replaying that negativity and turn it in to something positive.
2.) Meditation can be a great way to introduce positive internal validation to your brain. Repeating positive uplifting statements will cement them in your thinking and you will start to realize that anything is possible.
3.) Surround yourself with people that are great encouragers, not discouragers. Having cheerleaders that believe in you will go a long way to erasing the negativity of others.
By turning off the negative comments made by others and believing that you are fully capable of reaching your goals, no matter what they might be, you will find that it is easier to stick to your plan and even exceed your greatest expectations.
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” -Unknown
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