Here we are at the end of another year. In just a few short days we will bid ado to 2012 and welcome 2013 (can you believe it…2013). I stopped making resolutions years ago, when I realized they just made me feel bad about myself. Recent research by Psychology professor Peter Herman has vindicated my thinking. The professor and his colleagues have identified “false hope syndrome,” which means a New Years Resolution that is significantly unrealistic and out of alignment with an internal view of ourselves. This principle reflects that of making positive affirmations. When you make positive affirmations about yourself that you don’t really believe, the positive affirmations not only don’t work, they can be damaging to your self-esteem.
However, like many people, I view the new year as a time to reflect on my life and consider changes I wish to make. For the past few years I have adopted a few words as my plan for the new year. Last year I chose but one word….yes! Because I wanted 2012 to be the year I stopped being a roadblock to my own adventure. Saying no had become such a habit and I needed to become open to possibilities….and yes, it worked 🙂
This year I see so many aspects of my life I wish to change. I am again tempted to make a laundry list of resolutions…yet, I know that is just creating a self-esteem crash. So this year, rather than give in to the list temptation, I am morphing my approach. This year I am adopting a phrase for my plan:
Nothing Changes, until it Changes!
Talking about change isn’t change. Thinking about change isn’t change. Only making changes is change.
So this year, look for lots of little changes. And one big monthly goal.
Thinking of making resolutions this year? Here are some tips to success:
1. Do as I’m doing and focus on one resolution at a time;
2. Set realistic, (I’m not going to eat fruit, so that isn’t a good goal for me) specific goals. (Losing weight is not specific);
3. Make it a year long process, every month or day;
4. Take small steps;
5. Celebrate success! Don’t just wait until your goal is completed;
6. Focus on the present. (What’s the one thing you can do right now toward your goal?);
7. Have a buddy, someone you report to;
8. Forgive yourself when you mess up;
9. Ask for help when you need it;
10. Make it fun.
I am excited about my goal for January! I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.
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