We all want people to like us and we are willing to give of ourselves to accomplish this feat. You play nice at the office. You play nice with your spouse. You stuff your wants, needs, desires down while being nice to those around you.

Nice is stifling!

There’s a huge price to pay for parading through your life wearing the cloak of Nice.

1. DRAINED ENERGY RESERVES. It takes a lot of effort to put on the show.  It’s tiring to remember all those little white ‘save your feeling’ lies. Coming up with fibs all the time to make sure you say things to try to keep everyone else happy is hard work. Eventually you will suffer from tiredness that can escalate to exhaustion, maybe eventually depression.  Not to mention the fact that your soul is yearning for truth.

2.  MANIPULATION. It doesn’t sound nice but being nice is manipulative.  It’s being agreeable and behaving a certain way because you surmise that there’s something in it for you. Life is full of compromise!  But nice has something unscrupulous and exploitative about it.

3.  NICE IS FAKE. It is not possible to have meaningful, truth-filled relationships when Nice is in charge.  Nice barely scratches the surface of who you are and what you want.

I read a blog where the author suggested  doing an energy/nice inventory. Give yourself 100 points at the beginning of the day.  Notice what builds you up and what wears you down.  Playing nice is sure to dock a minimum 10 points from your tally each time you do it.  If your penchant for pleasing is chronic, you’ll be in negative territory by lunch time.

I am in no way suggesting that you pit away all your manners. Nor am I suggesting that you run rough-shod over those you love or even your enemies. I am suggesting that doing things to ‘just be nice’ is detrimental to your happiness. Not to mention, detrimental to reaching your goals.