I am not sure why I continue to be amazed that life lessons come along when I need to hear them. My suspicion is that the lessons are always available; I just notice them when I am ready to learn. I have experienced one of those times this week! I received this message from an email list I subscribe to:
“Your goals should also be designed to create rewards that are most important to you, not to someone else“
In and of it’s self this is a nice quote without far reaching ramifications for me. However, for weeks Jenn and I have been enmeshed in discussions about life, business, and how we are proceeding with each. It’s no surprise to anyone that it is hard to balance running a business (in my case two of them), personal time, relationships, personal goals and entertainment. The lines get very blurred. For example, is an evening networking event personal time, entertainment or business?
Yesterday, our business received an email. It was an email that upset me greatly.
It’s not the kind of thing that usually bothers me, (because we have learned that almost everyone you meet believes they know your business better than you and their advice is priceless) but for some reason it really rankled me. The email was a chastising email from someone who was not pleased with a decision we made for our business – A decision that saved us time and saved us from unnecessary loss of product; a decision that resulted in no loss of money to the letter writer. A decision that was made with careful and thoughtful consideration brought on my circumstances (rain) beyond our control.
From the moment the email arrived, around 11am, I began to stew. Like any good stew, I steamed, I rattled on about it, I fumed and I wrote and rewrote responses (none that ever were sent). I just kept saying over and over, ‘HOW DARE SOMEONE CHASTISE ME FOR MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION FOR MY BUSINESS!” I was still stewing on this matter when I went to bed last night. This morning I awoke with this blog post in my head and a totally different outlook.
Too often in my life I have tempered my goal for the needs of others.
Last week I had dinner with a friend whose brother was just diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. The brother is 49 years old (same as me) and his plight made me ponder my own mortality. In the days after this dinner I began to proclaim that I was officially
LIVING WITHOUT REGRET!
I implored my young friend who just began his freshman year in college to ‘do it all’ and to ‘learn it all’ and finish with no regret. (No doubt he left his lunch with me shaking his head and wondering about the ranting of an old woman). However, in reality I was ranting to a younger version of me. I was wishing I could go back and erase the regret.
I have concluded that we need to focus on the end game. We need to have a clear sight of what (or who) is important and we must make the right decision for us. Not your mother (or father). Not your spouse. Not your children. Not your best friend. For YOU! I am not saying we should doggedly pursue our goals to the detriment of others. But I am saying
We Should Doggedly Pursue Our Goals!
It is not too late (no matter how old you are) to choose to pursue your goals! As the picture says, be assured that saying yes to someone else does not mean you are saying no to you!
Are your decisions today the right decisions for you? or are you losing yourself to pacify and placate someone else?
Sooooooo hard to fall into the trap of pleasing others and, in turn, hurting yourself. I have spent the better part of the past three years making effort upon effort to set, and work towards, MY goals. It’s not always easy to do. And other people have gotten upset along the way. And that’s okay.
And when it doesn’t feel okay? Sometimes a good “stew” is just what the doctor ordered. 🙂
Wouldn’t it be nice to make everyone happy? But the reality is if we’re not happy, we can’t help anyone else be happy by sacrificing ourselves and out goals. Keep chasing your goals, girl!
Thanks for stopping by Lelly!