Consent at any Age

Over the weekend, I packed up the LEGO bricks from Lego Club Carolina Beach. 😭😭😭 It was a ministry I absolutely loved and did for more than 11 years. Packing up all those bricks, and all those memories, was extremely bittersweet.

As Jenn and I were packing, I noticed the LEGO Club rules were still written on the chalkboard, even though we haven’t met in that room since the spring of 2025.

One particularly caugh my attention given recent events:

Ask permission before taking a LEGO from someone else. And if they say no, accept the no.

And suddenly, that rule felt much bigger than LEGOs.

We were teaching consent!

Those kids learned that they were allowed to say no. Even when the person asking was bigger, stronger, louder, more popular, or really wanted what they had. Their no didn’t require an explanation. And there was an adult in the room who would back them up.

Just as importantly, they learned that someone else’s no means no.

You don’t argue with it.

You don’t pressure them until the no becomes a yes.

You don’t decide you’re entitled to something because you want it.

You don’t use power, popularity, size, or numbers to get your way.

You hear the no. You respect it.

That’s not just good behavior. That’s good theology!

If we actually believe people are created in the image of God, then their dignity, agency, bodies, and boundaries matter. Loving our neighbor means recognizing that another human being is never ours to use, overpower, manipulate, or take from.

We need to teach consent early – not only when our children are teenagers or young adults and the stakes have become frighteningly high. We teach it in a thousand ordinary moments: with toys, hugs, tickling, personal space, closed doors, and yes, LEGO.

You are allowed to say no!

And when someone says no to you, you stop.

We built some pretty cool things in that LEGO room over those 11 years from bricks and I hope we also build a generation of kids who understand that respecting another person’s no is part of what it means to love our neighbor and to be a good human.